The Honey Badger made me miss my flight

It’s true.  I think.

I was sitting at gate C31, in Chicago O’hare, my least favorite airport in the world, just wasting time.  I had 2 hours before my flight, so I got comfortable.  Bought a $13 salad, and was feeling good about being almost home.  My flight was to depart at 6:20.

I sat there, looking up at the monitor as it got closer and closer to the time of boarding, and it appeared the flight was overbooked.  I didn’t care, because I had snagged the last seat available.  It said we were delayed 10 minutes.  I got on gChat with Meren to let him know.  The Honey Badger was on repeat through my headphones.

At some point, I realized the monitor said “Flight Closed.”  I wonder what that means.  I didn’t think to ask.  I just sat there.

Then,

Meren: hey, it says your flight is in the air, is that true?

Me: no, we haven’t even boarded yet.

Meren: are you sure?

Me: SHIT!

I missed my flight.  And I am going to blame this one on the Honey Badger.  I was listening to it over and over again, and I must have missed the important announcements being made.  Like, “Flight 4888, now boarding.”  Idiot.

I started getting flustered, immediately, which is a feeling I haven’t had since I spilled an entire beverage tray on a couple of guests at Old Faithful.  Shit! SHIT! I kept thinking. How did I do that?

I went up to the counter, and asked the lady to confirm for me that I missed my flight.  The monitor had changed to Houston, TX, so I knew I had.  But I needed to hear it.

She didn’t care to be bothered.

“Did I really just miss my flight?”

“Yes ma’am you did.  They boarded everyone–well everyone but you.”

Hah.  I kind of appreciated her humor, but then the shit what am I going to do feeling came back.

“Oh, thanks.  Have a good one.”

I walked over to customer service.

The honey badger wouldn’t care.  It doesn’t care about missing flights.  Nothing can stop the honey badger when it’s traveling.

“I missed my flight to Boston.  Can you get me to the East Coast tonight?  Please?  Anywhere.  Boston, Providence, Newark, LaGuardia, JFK or Philly?  I want to go home.”  It was actually more than just the desire to go home.  My credit card company put a hold on my account because their fraud detectors are going crazy with all the traveling I’ve been doing.  San Francisco, Denver, Bozeman, Chicago.  They’re not buyin it.  So both of my credit cards are on hold, and I don’t have a debit card because I had to cancel it so they’d send me a new one for my travels abroad (the old one would expire in a month, so I needed to replace it before I go).  These are the times that it’s useful to have a cell phone.  I could call the credit card company and tell them they should be less sensitive.  And with my sleeping bag and pad being in my checked bag, which is on its way to Boston, well, I don’t have many options for sleeping.  And I’m tired.  I need a hug.  I want to go home.

The lady at customer service was much more friendly.  I began to calm down.

“Ok,” she said, “wow.  You’re not gonna believe this.  Someone just cancelled their reservation on our 9:15 flight to Philly.  You’re on it.”  All the other flights to the East Coast would have gotten me there tomorrow, and all of them had at least one stop.  No thanks.

“Amazing. You’re amazing.  Thank you.”

So here I am.  Philadelphia-bound.  I won’t be going back to Massachusetts after all.  I am sad I won’t be seeing the kids I worked with for the last 2 years, and sad I won’t be seeing my Mr. Sammy the snake, either.  But I guess this is for the best.  Home is where my heart is right now.